>>510370558
You have 2 options:

1) Keep taking Xan until you snap and just neck yourself.

2) Or, realize you fucked up, realize that this is your ONE shot at life.
That's it.
No redo-s.
Just one.

Realize that you're still young and in your prime and a WHOLE life ahead of you.

This isn't even pandering or some sugar-coating shit, no.
You fucked up. Big time.

But guess what? There is quite LITERALLY no way to go but up from your position--because the alternative is death.

Would death solve this?
Sure, but at what cost?

Never will you shitpost, no beautiful sights, no tears of happiness, or sadness, no beautiful events, music, film, books, comedies, tragedies, family events, love, friendship, betrayal, growth, knowledge, peace.

You lose it ALL.
Nothing is worth that loss, not when the only thing we get gifted to us in this shitty, dark, but beautiful world--is life itself.

Now pick your Estonian ass up, look to the East and realize there are 18 year olds with HAPPY lives that have just been killed by some fucking drone, fighting for their nation when they were chilling and playing video games with zero stress in the world. Robbed of their life.

But YOU came close to throwing it all away.

Fuck it. Tomorrow is never promised. Take a baby step at a time and begin again.

Find kratom, take Ashawagandha, slowly ween yourself off, but force yourself to play an instrument--even if shitty, do a puzzle, sit in nature, go for a walk, write a journal even if its 2 words of "this sucks". Start

Start moving.
The point of EMOTION is literally in its very word, e-MOTION. They are signals for you to move, to fight, to flee, to improve--whatever the emotion is.
If you MOVE, your emotions will also kickstart.

Start moving.