>>81674604
Im very well aware on a logical level and even taking from past experiences that what im doing right now at best wont work at all or at worst will just further cause misery to the person and myself. All i can say is that im extremely petty and selfish, but also pathetically desperate. On one hand im extremely concerned for their well being and how i hurt them and on the other the idea of them misinterpreting my intentions with them is driving me completely crazy with rage that theyd even think such things about me. I want to scream and yell at them, yet i also want to cry and say im sorry over and over. the unfairness of it all is just driving me mad. i think trauma has just completely broken my attachment to people. Im sorry that you feel like you can relate. I wouldnt wish this on anyone.