>>24480965
>I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders
Deal with it, kid. Life will be only harder from this moment, but a man can make his hardships fun. Acknowledge the fact that your life is so short that there really is no point in worrying about stumbles, failings, embarassing moments. Carry on and you'll come out stronger and wiser, NEET kills you from inside.
As for book recommendations:
>The Magic Mountain by Mann
>Metamorphosis by Kafka