By my calculations if I save hard I can retire in 5-10 years but who knows maybe im hit by a bus by then or be unable to physically do things I want to do today. I just know that I didn't ask for all the hardships and they are too many/significant to compensate for the rare and dim good moments. You can't prove/verify this, it's subjective experience. An heroing is an unregrettable event. But in all likelihood, I will still have to wake up early tomorrow to work for a bank that enslaves people. The world would objectively be better off without me. I just hope I don't cause more harm by taking revenge on my parents.