I feel fucking dumb for getting so confused by pointers
it's like some mental block and one more "think of it like the address vs the mailbox" metaphor won't help.
I'm even ok, good even, with deep and dirty abstraction, I got a math degree once upon a time.
I think I just haven't found the right resource but every thing I've come across is shit at teaching/explaining it, or for whatever reason it just doesn't stick.

Makes me feel like a dum-dum ding-dong.