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6/21/2025, 5:12:35 AM
Hey barkeep, let me get a soda water with lime.
Anyway. Things are going fine I guess. I rarely post here, more of a lurker, but I figured I'd chip in for this one.
It's a weird time. Graduated uni earlier this year, home for a couple weeks before I fly out to a country in the middle of bumfuck nowhere for a volunteering gig that I got last-minute because I didn't want my other postgrad job. And I mean really the middle of nowhere. And I'll be there for at least a year. Never really traveled growing up so I don't know how the fuck to feel about this. Gonna have to fill my backpack with books if I wanna get any kind of weightlifting in over there.
Started the only healthy relationship of my life three months ago, now have to go long-distance because, again, going to the middle of bumfuck nowhere. So it's likely going to slowly fade away from me, and all I'm gonna have is the memories of those three months where I loved someone and it went well for both of us. Which is fine. There are worse things than being sad, I know. Like being sad and drunk. So I'm 10 days off the bottle and 6 off nicotine, which was disappointingly easy, and now life is still boring and sad and I can't crack open a beer or smoke a cigarette over it. Gonna try to stay sober while I'm out of country though.
I know this life may sound like a fairy tale life to some of you anons who are about six inches from suicide, but everybody hurts. Had a pretty rough childhood, hurt then, and now where there's nothing visibly wrong with me I still hurt, just in different ways and for different reasons, and there is nothing quite as demoralizing as the thought that I will deal not with intense pain for some short duration but with this low-level hurt for likely the rest of my life. Guess that's just the bitch of it.
Anyway. Things are going fine I guess. I rarely post here, more of a lurker, but I figured I'd chip in for this one.
It's a weird time. Graduated uni earlier this year, home for a couple weeks before I fly out to a country in the middle of bumfuck nowhere for a volunteering gig that I got last-minute because I didn't want my other postgrad job. And I mean really the middle of nowhere. And I'll be there for at least a year. Never really traveled growing up so I don't know how the fuck to feel about this. Gonna have to fill my backpack with books if I wanna get any kind of weightlifting in over there.
Started the only healthy relationship of my life three months ago, now have to go long-distance because, again, going to the middle of bumfuck nowhere. So it's likely going to slowly fade away from me, and all I'm gonna have is the memories of those three months where I loved someone and it went well for both of us. Which is fine. There are worse things than being sad, I know. Like being sad and drunk. So I'm 10 days off the bottle and 6 off nicotine, which was disappointingly easy, and now life is still boring and sad and I can't crack open a beer or smoke a cigarette over it. Gonna try to stay sober while I'm out of country though.
I know this life may sound like a fairy tale life to some of you anons who are about six inches from suicide, but everybody hurts. Had a pretty rough childhood, hurt then, and now where there's nothing visibly wrong with me I still hurt, just in different ways and for different reasons, and there is nothing quite as demoralizing as the thought that I will deal not with intense pain for some short duration but with this low-level hurt for likely the rest of my life. Guess that's just the bitch of it.
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