my biggest problem working in this field is that my cognitive factulties are all over the place

some days my brain works reallyreallyreallyreally fast, I notice patterns in everything and feel super excited and curious, sometimes I even notice my mind split into two seperate monologues allowing me to think concurrenty which isn't as confusing as it sounds, but before long I end up experiencing a panic attack and entering a near weird dissasociated state the rest of the days, if I'm lucky I can ride this momentum for several days in a row and get a ton of shit of done before crashing

otherdays I'm basically in a cataconic super low energy state where I hardly have the energy to do anything including forcing facial expressions, people ask me if I'm alright constantly and my mind just feels kinda slow and uninspired, in practice I don't seem that much dumber than usual, I can still solve hard leetcodes kinda easily, but I just have a harder time communicating and finding words, the biggest problem is that I just feel nohing, no excitement, no fear, no joy, no anger, I just feel inert

I also have constant low-level headaches which may or may not be related

this has been going on for years now and there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it