Face it, I'm your one and only option, just think about it for 10 seconds.

You really think you can keep up with Mitsuru "what is a burger" Kirijo? I've seen your grades, you don't stand a chance. You don't have manners, nor discipline. She's the heir of a huge multinational corporation, and you... asked me to lend you my notes for a test. Ten minutes before the test. I know you and Junpei are like best buds, but that doesn't mean you have to copy him and give up on school.

Oh... Fuuka? Really? *sigh* Look, she's my friend and I love her to death, but if plain oatmeal with water was a person, that person's name would be Fuuka Yamagishi. Speaking of... isn't it weird that she can hack into super computers, but can't follow a simple recipe? You know more about computers than me, but... I dunno, it just seems strange, she's super smart, but also comically bad at cooking. Following a recipe isn't that hard, right? I don't think she can even cook plain oatmeal.

Ugh, and don't even get me started on Ai-"my entire personality is wanting to be with you"-gis...

Do you REALLY see yourself changing your entire lifestyle just to be with them? *giggle* I thought so.

Anyway, quit starin', I'm taking you shopping, you really need some new winter clothes. Don't worry, it's my treat, I don't want you freezing when we go out. You're carrying our bags though, and I want you to help me choose a new pair of boots later. And hey, I thought we could stop by Chagall on the way back, I heard they added a lot of new sweets to their menu and... oh, we're splittin' the bill for that one though. Yeah, I've seen how much you can eat.