>>33254845

>be 30 year old autist
>spent most of my life until this point on autopilot in a dissociated haze
>moved away from hometown with my parents
>slowly make improvements in my life, cut out gluten, started lifting, got a fresh start in a new room that i was able to properly curate.
>almost no negative influences from my childhood
>i start to wake up more, realize i can't remember most of my life at all.
>now in present day i had to go back to my hometown with my mom to help clear out the house and do rennovations
>33 years old now
>begin to rapidly regress and dissociate again. constant bickering is draining me emotionally to the point where doing even basic things feels like wading through mud
>i'm losing time again, i can't exercise anymore, my cognition is losing focus and reactivity is going up.

i look like shit now. the dark circles under my eyes are very noticable and i will lose hours of time.

i'm tired but i don't want to go back to sleep again.... i don't want to lose more years.