>You will never go into a store with your parents again to pick up a new Super Solvers or Jump Start game
>You will sit there excitedly waiting for your dad to finish installing Gizmos and Gadgets on the family computer
God damn I just want to go back to those days

>at level 7 you can drop your pants, take a shit, and eat it to gross out enemies
>at level 10 you can take a shit and mold it into a shit figure that'll wander around getting shit on everything
That sounds like the shittiest mage in existence and the only thing I'm seeing that could even be considered magic is making walking turd golems which sounds more gross than intimidating.