I've proved beyond all reasonable doubt this stuff is real by conjuring ridiculous little hyperspecific trinkets and events against all odds, things that just cannot be explained rationally.

But after 3 years I still can't get anything big or life changing, my big 3, health, wealth, and love, are utterly beyond me still. I tried everything, i had hope, a great self concept, etc, idk anymore. I wish for death before bed every night now. I don't know why it works for little things but not big things.

my life is a bitch and i swear to god i was born unlucky and retarded
what would you choose? these are the only two options

>BUY an apartment in a dying out ass town somewhere up north (Nikel and Vorkuta are the only okayish options) where it's still snowing in early june and the warmest summer day is 15c, but i get some extra neetbux that way i would never have to work (i hate cold)
or
>RENT an apartment in virtually any place and invest the rest of the money that way it's gonna cover almost all of my rent, but i would have to work at least partially to make the ends meet (i hate working)