>>81713351
Its not like its unbearable, just that its not worth it. Like a game I've gotten sick of, but can't quit as there's no save feature. I just want to start a new one, this is incredibly boring. I'm not happy, excited or sad, just sleepy and bored. I still have to go to work, eat, chores and whatever else to live.

Just too much work, I don't like it so why continue working for nothing? I just want to start a new life, or go to sleep forever.
>>81713451
Not sad, also I've already "pushed" away everyone from around me. I just don't like talking or being around anyone, its annoying. So I left my friends and family behind, its been years since I've had anyone. Apathy slowly set in over the years, life was such a struggle so I had to cope somehow. My cope became "I'm suicidal so nothing really matters, I can do anything I want now, yay. I mean if things go bad I'll just kill myself like I was planning before"
>>81713455
I see, maybe I do russian roulette? I don't think it will make me happy, but whatever. Its a win win