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7/10/2025, 11:55:06 PM
When people mistreat me I get deeply offended and I can't control it
>Just have more self control
I can't. And I tried. I get into a loop and I get into more and more hate. I want to gouge their eyes out and rip their skin off and the only thing I don't do is because I could only do it once and I would go to prison. I have bloodlust and I can't avoid it when this happens, and I end up hitting myself or things.
I was always very passive and I was abused and bullied in my childhood. I think the best words to describe my situation are frustration, helplessness and impotence. I can't simply not care about people seeing me as pathetic. It harms me in my chest and stomach to the point it literally makes me physically sick.
>Just have more self control
I can't. And I tried. I get into a loop and I get into more and more hate. I want to gouge their eyes out and rip their skin off and the only thing I don't do is because I could only do it once and I would go to prison. I have bloodlust and I can't avoid it when this happens, and I end up hitting myself or things.
I was always very passive and I was abused and bullied in my childhood. I think the best words to describe my situation are frustration, helplessness and impotence. I can't simply not care about people seeing me as pathetic. It harms me in my chest and stomach to the point it literally makes me physically sick.
6/27/2025, 12:08:24 PM
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