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7/14/2025, 5:12:29 AM
>Fire aura bandit walks into my village and declares himself ruler
>He immediately gets jumped and holes himself up in a storehouse like a bitch
>Village warriors choose to wait for him to die of his poisoned wounds because any more fighting would risk the village's security against neighboring factions
>Nobody shares my worry he'll try to burn the village down in his final moments out of spite
>Remember stories about how fairies will do anything for a firstborn
>Don't know what a fairy is, only that they're a pokemon
>Leave the village to find one
>Finally find one of the yellow-orangey four-legged things at night and ask it for help
>Rather than attacking or dismissing me on the spot like I feared, the little one hears me out and takes me into its cave to meet what I assume is its mother
>She, and she is most definitely a she, simply looks at me in confusion
>I hurriedly explain my situation and offer her my first born for aid
>Her eyes go wide and she covers her mouth. After a moment's hesitation and eyeing me up and down, she eagerly agrees to my proposal
>Smoke in the distance confirms my fears, so I hurry our pace
>Now in the village, there are only three sounds that can be heard: the roar of fire, the cries of people who couldn't evacuate, and the loud monologue of an aura bandit on a power trip
>All three are immediately silenced when with a single flick of the pokemon's wand, every fire is put out
>The bandit doesn't have time to look our way before a bright beam shoots out of the fairy's wand and explodes his head
>Even aura masters live in fear of pokemon
>Survivors start cheering and singing my praises
>The single women all rush towards me, wanting to hook up with the big shot who somehow tamed a pokemon
>Suddenly the pokemon flicks her wand, harmlessly blowing all the women away
>Her arms drape around my shoulders and her leg wraps around my waist, daring any to dispute her claim
>Tfw history remembers me not as a hero but as the world's first pokephile
>He immediately gets jumped and holes himself up in a storehouse like a bitch
>Village warriors choose to wait for him to die of his poisoned wounds because any more fighting would risk the village's security against neighboring factions
>Nobody shares my worry he'll try to burn the village down in his final moments out of spite
>Remember stories about how fairies will do anything for a firstborn
>Don't know what a fairy is, only that they're a pokemon
>Leave the village to find one
>Finally find one of the yellow-orangey four-legged things at night and ask it for help
>Rather than attacking or dismissing me on the spot like I feared, the little one hears me out and takes me into its cave to meet what I assume is its mother
>She, and she is most definitely a she, simply looks at me in confusion
>I hurriedly explain my situation and offer her my first born for aid
>Her eyes go wide and she covers her mouth. After a moment's hesitation and eyeing me up and down, she eagerly agrees to my proposal
>Smoke in the distance confirms my fears, so I hurry our pace
>Now in the village, there are only three sounds that can be heard: the roar of fire, the cries of people who couldn't evacuate, and the loud monologue of an aura bandit on a power trip
>All three are immediately silenced when with a single flick of the pokemon's wand, every fire is put out
>The bandit doesn't have time to look our way before a bright beam shoots out of the fairy's wand and explodes his head
>Even aura masters live in fear of pokemon
>Survivors start cheering and singing my praises
>The single women all rush towards me, wanting to hook up with the big shot who somehow tamed a pokemon
>Suddenly the pokemon flicks her wand, harmlessly blowing all the women away
>Her arms drape around my shoulders and her leg wraps around my waist, daring any to dispute her claim
>Tfw history remembers me not as a hero but as the world's first pokephile
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