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8/1/2025, 9:50:48 AM
The Imperium's Fourth Chevauchee into the Confederacy of Independent Planets has ended in unmitigated disaster. The Imperium, trapped in a bubble of byzantine squabbling, scrambles to reorganize what remains of its theater forces in the face of an impending counteroffensive, though incompetent civilian-military leadership plagues the Confederacy all the same.
Emperor Mikhail V von Barbarossa has appointed his most trusted military commander, Jonathan Churchill the Black Prince, to lead a diversion using the mobile asteroid fortress Zeta to bide time for the Imperium.
The Black Prince succeeds in dropping an orbital colony on the Confederate planet of Ben Nevis, and makes a mad dash to capitalize on his true objective: the penetration of the Confederacy's halo Maginot Line protecting the Confederacy's planet-capital of Fasnakyle!
Confederate high command acts swiftly in assembling a strike team ahead of the main naval force gathering at Maginot Line Point Farragaig. One such member is Victoria Schwarzenberger, a Mobile Trooper ace pilot who is Neo sapiens: a next step in humanity's evolution exhibiting sharp spatial awareness.
As Victoria and her team race against time to the unfolding flashpoint, the stage is set for the beginning of the end of the hundred-and-fifty-year galactic war between the two entities.
What I've been thinking of rewriting it as:
It's a race against time for Victoria Schwarzenberger. She and the rest of her task force are in intense pursuit of the Imperium's mobile space asteroid fortress, Zeta. Its very trajectory threatens to destroy the military orbital installations protecting her homeplanet of Faskanykle.
Viictoria is an ace among aces as a Mobile Trooper pilot, a Neo Sapiens: A next step in human evolution with incredibly heightened spatial awareness abilities. She is without equal among her peers and the enemy—and yet she must confront the most fearsome opponent she has ever faced. Is there truly any hope for Victoria to save Faskanykle? Can she prevail against the odds and what may be her toughest waltz yet? The war reaches its theatrical overture to the beginning of the end of this fruitless, eternal war.
Emperor Mikhail V von Barbarossa has appointed his most trusted military commander, Jonathan Churchill the Black Prince, to lead a diversion using the mobile asteroid fortress Zeta to bide time for the Imperium.
The Black Prince succeeds in dropping an orbital colony on the Confederate planet of Ben Nevis, and makes a mad dash to capitalize on his true objective: the penetration of the Confederacy's halo Maginot Line protecting the Confederacy's planet-capital of Fasnakyle!
Confederate high command acts swiftly in assembling a strike team ahead of the main naval force gathering at Maginot Line Point Farragaig. One such member is Victoria Schwarzenberger, a Mobile Trooper ace pilot who is Neo sapiens: a next step in humanity's evolution exhibiting sharp spatial awareness.
As Victoria and her team race against time to the unfolding flashpoint, the stage is set for the beginning of the end of the hundred-and-fifty-year galactic war between the two entities.
What I've been thinking of rewriting it as:
It's a race against time for Victoria Schwarzenberger. She and the rest of her task force are in intense pursuit of the Imperium's mobile space asteroid fortress, Zeta. Its very trajectory threatens to destroy the military orbital installations protecting her homeplanet of Faskanykle.
Viictoria is an ace among aces as a Mobile Trooper pilot, a Neo Sapiens: A next step in human evolution with incredibly heightened spatial awareness abilities. She is without equal among her peers and the enemy—and yet she must confront the most fearsome opponent she has ever faced. Is there truly any hope for Victoria to save Faskanykle? Can she prevail against the odds and what may be her toughest waltz yet? The war reaches its theatrical overture to the beginning of the end of this fruitless, eternal war.
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