>>105849641
Apparently some pwm models (like my NF-A12x25s) require a specific voltage to start that some gigabyte motherboards (like my MC13-LE3) just don't properly spit out. This results in the fans dying shortly after post, with the only applicable solution being to unplug and reconnect another, different fan (think 3 pin case fan) from the motherboard. This causes the BCM to freak out and dump voltage into the fan headers, reactivating and rediscovering the specific noctua pwm fans.
The problem is this requires physical access to the machine following every power off/reboot.