I watched some episodes of the kids puppet show Sooty on YouTube today and almost cried twice. The first time it was during an episode where after arguing at home all day they all went outside and played in the rain, splashing in puddles and running around water wheels. Not sure what it was that got to me, maybe the carefree nature of it all or the sense that everything was going to be okay for them? These days whenever it rains I'm immediately anxious about water ingress. The second time was during a counting song aimed at three year olds, which had the lyric "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, I'm so glad that I'm alive" in the chorus. There was a time in my life where I didn't have to aggressively lie to myself every hour to have some semblance of hope for the future. Wasn't there? Fuck, I don't remember.