I'm kinda mad at God my life is like this, but I know it's not really his fault. I find myself jealous of my friends sometimes, they just stood around there and girls flung themselves on them. They're not particularly fit or even hard working, and yet they pick them. I work hard, to be the best I can be, and I hope that one day it pays off. I understand that there is something wrong with me, I have no real aspirations as to what I want to do with my life. When I was younger, I wanted to be a marine, just so I could die on the front lines and think my life meant something.