>>29090811
>>29091679

>>29092102
Clawd to oblige:

>Be me
>10 years old now
>Still fucking crab on this kalpa
>"Still alpha on this kalpa"
>Having defeated my share of:
>>Penis lice
>>Gay lobsters
>>IRS Agents
>And even
>>Dabbled in some fruit >>29090012
>But nothing prepared me for what happened that one day
>>Crabjement Day

>Down on my luck
>Bitch (actual crab bitch) took half my sperm jelly
>Genetically poor now, no crabbitches wanna get down with
>The Clawde
>Have 500K child custody cases pending, no way I oozed that much jelly
>ItsOver.sea
>Check for the nearest brine pool
>Jackpot, a few knots ahead

Then I see it
>The Deep Water Jew

>Barely had time to react
>Some faggot aliens decide to shine their beams on me
>WarOfTheCrabworlds.swf on this bitch
>Dodge the slippery heeb's grasp, could almost feel my coral score lowering
>Pride as crab ignites
>DontLoseYourWay.mp3
>Continue dodging, aliens watch my match
>>"I spit in ye' eye, Bird'sEye!"
>>
>Almost entirely spent, armor heavy, hydraulic systems weary
>Crab pisketti
>Then
>"GLUB GEVAL--!!!

>>vidrel
>Molted my shell right there, not even ashamed to admit
>Snout God leaves, considers me the winner in this nautical bout

Anyways, Crabnons, I didn't feel like dying much, afterwards. I went back home, and fixed my life around. Also ate the wife and kids on my return but hey, that's crab life ;)