is it a bad thing or normal?

he's my first bf (but we're not a new couple, been together for all of my adult life up till now), and i feel like i always need to imagine weird fantasies in my head so that i can get into that 100% horny mood. if i keep my mind blank then i never get there.

i've never voiced it to anyone but i think i'm also really low libido or mildly asexual even. before my bf i never had any bf or sex because i'm not that interested in it. before my bf approached me i basically knew i could easily live my whole life without sex or relationships. such a charming guy approaching me so openly/aggressively sweeped me off my feet though and i decided to not be a "volcel" anymore, so that's why we're together.

at times in the past it sometimes felt like i was giving "duty sex", i just said yes despite not being in the mood (to be fair i am never "in the mood", except only during actual intercourse) because i didn't want to make my bf sad.

at some point i started imagining sexual fantasies during sex so that i can get actually wet/horny, but it's basically just roleplay: "i am this character and bf is this character". that type of thing, mostly fantasy-related stuff basically. i've never told any of this to my bf before, so should i tell him? i feel like he will see me as a loser if i mention the fantasies to him since they're so weird/out of the left field usually.

that post really rattled you, huh?

i'm sure he's not actually going to jack off to you getting shot in the head it's just 4chan snark ur arrite m8