I think killing myself could be worth it...
God has got to be good... He'd be merciful and understand why I did it. That I just cannot take anymore. I reached my limit.
He would understand. I wouldn't go to Hell.
But my family... my family is the problem. How can I find it within myself to ever hurt them that way? But I really just want to stop living. I can't. I don't want to hurt them.
Why? I'm forced to stay alive because of them. I couldn't possibly exist in any plane of reality knowing what I've done. The guilt would destroy me and I can only imagine how much it'd destroy them.
No one will save me. I'm fucked.