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8/2/2025, 8:57:50 PM
>>512036542
I think i am about as happy as a sane man can be in this shit world. And i never thought i would be. It feels weird. Most of the time it just feels easy. Like i had to swim up stream my whole life and now often i just float. Other times it doesn't feel real. Like a dream. And yet other times it feels like a hell of a chore. Happyness isn't a state you achieve, it's something that requires regular maintenance and effort. Work. But work that feels worth doing.
For those wondering how i could be happy with the way things are, here is a brief summary of my story. Take it or leave it as you will.
I was bon into semi poverty with parent's who hated eachoter. After their devorce and my dads death i was angry and lost. I started drinking at 11 and drugs at 14. I had no future, no hope, no direction, i was shy, angry, lonely, shit with women... i did make a few dude friends though who were just as fucked as i was.
I don't know when or why or how, but i got fed up one day. I wanted more. So i studied, got into STEM uni, moved out from home, and slowly, one by one, kicked my bad habbits. I also took dancing classes (salsa), learnt to cook, got some hobbies like drawing, painting, and astro photography... and through much embarassing trial and error i learnt to socialise. How to make friends as an adult. I ended up really getting into research, and got a job in a lab paralel to my studies.
In one of the lab practices i met a girl who was as fascinated by, as in love with the curiostiy of it all as i was. A true scientist. A shy little thing. I loved her from then to now and will to the end of my life. We are now married, we have a kid, we are planning the second to come soon...
I think happyness comes from 4 pillars and a foundation. Emotional, intellectual, material and spiritual with the foundation of knowing how to appreciate what you have. I think i'm doing well on all of these, and i do genuinely feel happy despite my life still containing many struggles.
I think i am about as happy as a sane man can be in this shit world. And i never thought i would be. It feels weird. Most of the time it just feels easy. Like i had to swim up stream my whole life and now often i just float. Other times it doesn't feel real. Like a dream. And yet other times it feels like a hell of a chore. Happyness isn't a state you achieve, it's something that requires regular maintenance and effort. Work. But work that feels worth doing.
For those wondering how i could be happy with the way things are, here is a brief summary of my story. Take it or leave it as you will.
I was bon into semi poverty with parent's who hated eachoter. After their devorce and my dads death i was angry and lost. I started drinking at 11 and drugs at 14. I had no future, no hope, no direction, i was shy, angry, lonely, shit with women... i did make a few dude friends though who were just as fucked as i was.
I don't know when or why or how, but i got fed up one day. I wanted more. So i studied, got into STEM uni, moved out from home, and slowly, one by one, kicked my bad habbits. I also took dancing classes (salsa), learnt to cook, got some hobbies like drawing, painting, and astro photography... and through much embarassing trial and error i learnt to socialise. How to make friends as an adult. I ended up really getting into research, and got a job in a lab paralel to my studies.
In one of the lab practices i met a girl who was as fascinated by, as in love with the curiostiy of it all as i was. A true scientist. A shy little thing. I loved her from then to now and will to the end of my life. We are now married, we have a kid, we are planning the second to come soon...
I think happyness comes from 4 pillars and a foundation. Emotional, intellectual, material and spiritual with the foundation of knowing how to appreciate what you have. I think i'm doing well on all of these, and i do genuinely feel happy despite my life still containing many struggles.
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