Mario! Don’t be scared of Donkey Kong’s threats. It’s me, Birdo, the androgynous Yoshi that represents the mother of all Yoshis!

You see, Mario, I’m not just your Yoshi’s mother, but in a mythological sense I can also be interpreted as your mother, as your character avatar was linked to Yoshi’s at birth when he carried you to safety as Baby Mario.

I can help you bring your Yoshi back to life by spitting out my tongue and swallowing his dead little green dinosaur corpse, but first its time I came clean to you about the truth, Mario.

You see, the truth is Donkey Kong is not just your immortal arch-nemesis, he is also your father, or rather your Yoshi’s father, which in a mythological sense makes him your father too.

When I was just a young Yoshi princess, I realized that the Yoshi species was under risk of going extinct. But as the reptilian matriarch of all Yoshi-kind, it was my responsibility to keep the Yoshi tree of life alive so that baby plumbers would never get eaten by Shy Guys before they reached the Mushroom Kingdom.

So as you can see, naturally I bred with the strongest creature I could find, Donkey Kong, over and over again, across the millennia, as the eternal incarnation of your mom, in order to for you to be born as the chosen Plumber that will save me from having to continue breeding with your arch-nemesis father figure Donkey Kong.

That makes me the real Princess Peach, Mario!