Tired of niggas fucking with my head and lying to me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qz6jhQMQs5s

For friends/a relationship/meaning in life?
I was recently at this massive Anime convention and it was just four days of me walking around, wasting money and getting blackpilled repeatedly. I spent thousands to fly here for a week in hopes of finding something but failed. Is this all there is to life? Loneliness and emptiness and being undesirable?
>Male, 23
>5ft10
>Self ratings are unreliable, but I'm a virgin whos never been propositioned in this degenerate sex fueled society
>300lbs to 145lbs over years
>Poorly dressed to decent wardrobe after thousands spent.
>Meticulous skin care routine, hygiene, etc.
>Desk job, 80k salary (former neet, 136 IQ)
>[spoiler]Really lightskinned autistic nogroid[/spoiler]
I woke up one day five years ago after being bullied by a foid (again) at a psych ward and decided to change my life, but nothing's changed. I have nothing to live for. I don't know where to go from here without any community, everything's so difficult and I'm just tired. Would I be understood if I called it quits here?