>Be me, married two kids
>Oldest son acting up so I confiscate his phone for the day
>Come back from work and my room is tossed, drawers open
>Son found collection of dildos
>Wife has some weird thing she doesn't want them on her side of the room so they stay in my beside table
>Son crying hysterically, thinks they're mine and I'm a massive homo
>Won't believe me
I need an investment to turn this day around, /biz/. Pitch me some stonks or shitcoins. At this stage I'll take a punt on anything