Search Results
7/23/2025, 6:13:35 PM
you wont do anything retard
7/4/2025, 5:38:07 PM
>>714490509
I would feed Elias Toufexis to a wood chipper if it meant five H1-B leeches went with him. Welcome to fourth generation warfare, we don't live in 2010 anymore.
I would feed Elias Toufexis to a wood chipper if it meant five H1-B leeches went with him. Welcome to fourth generation warfare, we don't live in 2010 anymore.
6/25/2025, 6:00:25 PM
You ruined video games so it is now more entertaining to ruin them for you right back
!!AQ3Dw8q8fWI/lit/24447613#24457996
6/11/2025, 2:41:15 AM
Lol what the shit, I thought I had the > before favorite/least favorite lines. Man I suck at editing
>>24457985
6. >>24455242 GreenShirt !4Kwm6202LE - https://rentry.co/kqem7xoi. I feel like a jerk but I'm ranking these based on which ones I like more. My fundamental issue with this one isn't that it's bad, (perchance). It has a beginning, middle, end, it's got some nice prose. But the whole story is around this kid we see stuff happen to. And this whole thing could have been resolved if they asked him yes or no questions. I know short stories are about an idea, but this isn't a strong one. This reads like an event I would read in my history book dramatized. Hell it's more boring: at least those books talked about the economic/geographical/cultural aspects. Like how Indians had to deal with so much famine, that they had to be tough as nails to survive. Or the way they use canoe to get around rivers, that was cool, I want to see that. I give this a C: competent, but not compelling.
>Favorite line
Two-Pebble walked along the creek bank to avoid leaves and scrambled silently up the boulder to see how much trouble he was in. At the top, he peeked his head over, looked down, and saw Long-Sapling slowly staggering along the creek, clothes torn, and coughing up blood.
>Least Favorite Line
The whole party. His father. His brother. The Forager. Something terrible had happened. They were foraging, for something important
Not the line itself, but that I forgot this line was even said. Main character's family died, and all I remember was this? I remember the little man, I remember Ryan, but I don't think Long-Sapling even reacted to this.
XX. JimmyTard !!AQ3Dw8q8fWI https://rentry.org/xudbk3xa. I have a personal ranking where this goes, but I don't want to rank it, because that'll be too faggy. I'm going to talk about my weaknesses mostly.
I need to work on prose/structure more. It has nice imagery, but my main issue is a lot of the entries kind of wander, which this does as well. Admittingly, that was the point, and once we stop wandering here it doesn't start up again: but I feel I could have heightened the tension sooner. Bring in the ambulance earlier, get someone pulled over for ticketing, have the MC getting called for being late for work, that sort of thing. This has a photo gallery problem of seeing a bunch of images that don't really connect. Poetically, I was stuck in a traffic jam on the way home, which stopped me from going back and editing this on time. I give this a JT: stop being a reTard Jimmy.
>Favorite Line
Still, the trees can understand the underlying need of routine. Despite us covering more distance, we lay down the same roots.
>Least Favorite Line
Some drivers with cars more expensive than they, wanted to avoid rusting their tires by changing lanes, which extends the traffic jam by a couple of miles.
Anyways this was fun, looking forward to next month.
>>24457985
6. >>24455242 GreenShirt !4Kwm6202LE - https://rentry.co/kqem7xoi. I feel like a jerk but I'm ranking these based on which ones I like more. My fundamental issue with this one isn't that it's bad, (perchance). It has a beginning, middle, end, it's got some nice prose. But the whole story is around this kid we see stuff happen to. And this whole thing could have been resolved if they asked him yes or no questions. I know short stories are about an idea, but this isn't a strong one. This reads like an event I would read in my history book dramatized. Hell it's more boring: at least those books talked about the economic/geographical/cultural aspects. Like how Indians had to deal with so much famine, that they had to be tough as nails to survive. Or the way they use canoe to get around rivers, that was cool, I want to see that. I give this a C: competent, but not compelling.
>Favorite line
Two-Pebble walked along the creek bank to avoid leaves and scrambled silently up the boulder to see how much trouble he was in. At the top, he peeked his head over, looked down, and saw Long-Sapling slowly staggering along the creek, clothes torn, and coughing up blood.
>Least Favorite Line
The whole party. His father. His brother. The Forager. Something terrible had happened. They were foraging, for something important
Not the line itself, but that I forgot this line was even said. Main character's family died, and all I remember was this? I remember the little man, I remember Ryan, but I don't think Long-Sapling even reacted to this.
XX. JimmyTard !!AQ3Dw8q8fWI https://rentry.org/xudbk3xa. I have a personal ranking where this goes, but I don't want to rank it, because that'll be too faggy. I'm going to talk about my weaknesses mostly.
I need to work on prose/structure more. It has nice imagery, but my main issue is a lot of the entries kind of wander, which this does as well. Admittingly, that was the point, and once we stop wandering here it doesn't start up again: but I feel I could have heightened the tension sooner. Bring in the ambulance earlier, get someone pulled over for ticketing, have the MC getting called for being late for work, that sort of thing. This has a photo gallery problem of seeing a bunch of images that don't really connect. Poetically, I was stuck in a traffic jam on the way home, which stopped me from going back and editing this on time. I give this a JT: stop being a reTard Jimmy.
>Favorite Line
Still, the trees can understand the underlying need of routine. Despite us covering more distance, we lay down the same roots.
>Least Favorite Line
Some drivers with cars more expensive than they, wanted to avoid rusting their tires by changing lanes, which extends the traffic jam by a couple of miles.
Anyways this was fun, looking forward to next month.
Page 1