God damnit ive just had a 3 hour episode unironically sobbing and crying over how fucking miserable and lonely i feel. I feel like a shallow whore wanting the things I want. To boot it off I am undesirable, I always feel like I dont have the right to ask for anything I could consider a preference due to it. Imagine an ugly short fat dude demanding celebrities on tinder. Thats how I fucking feel. Im nail digging my arm out of self hate writing this, fuck

Genuinely where can I find a small, short, frail guy to date???? I really want to feel a shotamaxxed bf fall asleep in the bed, i wanna spoon them and nurture them and see them love me back, I wanted to go through life's thick and thin, experience its beauty with them. why was i created so unattractive, holy shit... I just wanted this, im old and undeserving and now its too late, i should just fucking die