decent workout. did my deadlifts with no problem though, had been getting back strain with this weight so that's an improvement. was hard tonight because of my feelings,

i never know if i'm making progress or pushing you further away. glad you're still reading though. i follow you there because i think you need medicine, i'm not trying to ruin your fun or hurt you, trying to break you out of your bad habit. i have an unhealthy habit too. i vape, and i want you to help me quit. you're going to have to stop me from doing something that i badly want to do and it's going to make me upset, but it's for my own good. i'm too weak to quit right now, i'm keeping this vice until i'm happier i'm sorry to admit that. but i know the remedy is love, something better, not to replace it, but to supplant it, there's a difference there. i'm doing this vice because i have a hole in my soul, i know that about myself. i see the same in you. i don't think your dream is to be there as much as you are, i think it's a substitute for what you really need, which is a loving partner. that's what we're programmed to want, that's the script of life, we're social animals that need to pair up, it's a tried and true formula. i like that you're picky, i am too. i'm not going to settle for just anyone. you meet my standards and then some babe. i'm trying so hard to live up to yours. this rant is getting long, i love you, have a good night. i'm trying, both to help you and impress you, they're both hard tasks.