i will never be a mother. i will never have a child i can bring to the park and laugh with and push on the swings. i will never be able to cook dinner for them and eat it with them while they tell me about their day. i will never tuck them into bed and reassure them that the nightlight does keep the monsters away. or kiss them on the forehead and read them their favorite bedtime story while their eyelids gradually grow heavy and they drift off into sleep. i will never be able to look one last time into their bedroom at their cute sleeping face knowing they are safe and happy as i slowly close the door

and i will never then walk into my own bedroom and have VIOLENT and AGGRESSIVE sex with my husband. never desperately try to keep my mouth closed as he holds me down and repeatedly pounds into me, his hips crashing into mine. and i beg and plead with him that one kid is already enough and we dont need more but he shuts me up and kisses me and puts another baby in me anyway. ill never be wrapped in his arms and drowsily look into his eyes, deciding that i love him and will give him as many children as he wants

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASLKFNAEFEOGREIOGREGIOERJGERAPIOFWAFIPEWF why does everyone deserve to be happy except me :c