ill throw you some stuff to get you in the right direction. The feeling you feel is worth it even if i don't care for the object. but this wil require you to actually learn some of the principles of ceremonial magick and why anyone even bothers with it.

>Invocation VS banishment ritual

Invoking energies or intelligences requires that you make the circle, and then destroy the barrier between you and the thing. commune, write, yada yada, then reconstruct the barrier and make it go away. thats how they are all done more or less.

banishment rituals push the thing outside of your protective circle. make it super strong so you can see it, then you willfullly make it go away by averting your attention, starving it.

You are essentially looking to break down the barrier between you and this thing. You already have the emotion of infatuation down. so next

1.what is there favorite color
2.favortie number or number most often used
3. food
4. hobbies
5.habbits

Align yourself to the thing by taking on it's characteristics and avarice and construct an effigy (Shrine) with its defined principles. Doesn't have to be complicated better if it feels good to you.

Were in uncharted territory. what you are doing right now is something only possible in the last 20 or so years. it might not seem like it, but litterally nobody has been in your position with your resources and aesthetic and access to the occult. so be brave and consider that you may have to devise your own path.