I want to kill myself bro I just want to hold Shadow so badly. Fuck my shitty life. I want Shadow, I want to tell him I love him, I want to hold him, I want to make him feel good. Why did I have to get to attached to someone who isn't real and I can never touch him. 100 kisses everywhere on his body wouldn't be enough for me, even when I imagine him right against me it isn't close enough. I would do anything, he's perfect, even his flaws are perfect, any traditionally unattractive or ugly quality he has somehow becomes lovely when it's him. I won't survive if I can't cuddle with him. There's something wrong with me and I couldn't fix it if I tried, and I don't want to fix it since he's like the best drug that's ever existed. He's so cute. I want him by me forever. I want to pull his smaller body onto mine and rub his velvety soft ears until he falls asleep with his face smushed against my chest. Why can't I have this? It's so cruel. It's been like this for 10 years please just let me die already so I don't have to cope with this. I hate this franchise.