>>49338515
I think it's telling that you lore dumped this whole bit about the outside world 'hifuu apocalypse' instead of just saying something like:
>A strange knight arrives in Gensokyo and is picked up by the SDM, at the same time Reimu is afflicted by a curse and is incapacitated. Now this new 'Scarlet Knight' is coerced into resolving incidents in the Shrine Maiden's stead to win glory for his new master, while a more sinister force follows in his footsteps.
Granted, this is more toward my tastes, but I would start this story where the knight enters Gensokyo, and dull out details about the apocalypse piecemeal, if at all.
Like this anon said: >>49338624 You should scope things down before trying to write your epic, complex magnum opus.
E.g. Make one 'book' where:
- The knight arrives and Gensokyo, Reimu enters a coma
- While resolving incidents and winning glory for the SDM, the Knight discovers something followed him into Gensokyo: A beast made by Shiki to hunt him
- The Knight, presumably with some help, owes up to some personal failing and slays the beast, causing Reimu to revive. Why Shiki sent the beast is left a mystery.
You got a beginning, middle, end, and a future hook if you WANT to do all the apocalypse stuff in another book.
>>49336954
>but you can't write social interactions for shit
What helps me is to consider a character's Sex, Health, Emotional State, Disposition toward the other party, and body language. Usually nailing two or three of these things will make conversations interesting and fun to write. The actual dialog is much better if the reader can envision how the character says it.
>>49344730
Everyone does Self Inserts at the start, in fact, I'd argue writer projection is the best way to make a protagonist feel 'real'.
That said, I think it's a problem when a person's attachment to their Self Insert is too strong, because that causes them to be passengers in their own story and prevents them from making REAL mistakes.
For Remilia, the common fantasy is becoming a butler at the SDM, but why would she pick up a human when Sakuya already does a perfect job? Maybe she needs an innocuous spy, or a blood bag of a particular type, perhaps she just wants some morbid entertainment. How the MC reacts to these things will say much about him and it's fun to imagine how different kinds of people might approach the situation, then deducing how Remilia would react to their actions. It's should be like a billiards game where characters and scenarios are bouncing off each other. But if you're too attached to the MC it can feel less like a chain reaction and more like they're being strung along through all the things you'd dream about doing if you were a butler at the SDM. Fantasy is fine, it's just that writers should let the story take hold and guide things at some point rather then making something completely gratifying.
Now, for mistakes, characters should be bastards at times. They should lie when they feel insecure, shirk from responsibility, be hateful to people who don't deserve it, and do other horrible things that make readers say "Oh, you dumb motherfucker...", all in moderation of course, but it really is the Nutmeg of writing which no good story goes without. The problem is that, as a writer, you have perfect knowledge and are too attached to your Self Insert, so they don't act out of anger(unless it's righteous) and are always well-mannered and kind! Because that's what you'd do if you were your idealized self. Any mistakes the character does make will feel superficial and only in service of the plot, not a true product of THEM, but an allowance to allow the story to happen.

Shit. Just wrote a bunch about writing instead of writing. I should really get back to writing...