I wake up at 6am and remember that I'm 31 and still live with my dad, and that I have no friends or love interests. The warm glow of a sense of belonging that my dreams occasionally grant me quickly fade away and I roll off the prison mattress I sleep on to begin again. I relocate the clothes and various miscellaneous items from my workout equipment onto my prison mattress to make room for my morning workout, which occupies my time until about 8:30. Once everyone except me has left, I enjoy a depraved wank and make some breakfast.

Around brunch I get dressed and go for a hike in the nearby woods. The route I take is about ten miles and it takes me a few hours to complete. When I return home I make some lunch and work out again for an hour or two before going back to sleep. I wake up when people start returning to the house and try to find a project to occupy myself, which is usually sewing my damaged clothes or learning new knots from the Ashley Book of Knots. I usually browse some of my favorite boards for a few hours in the evening, then I take two or three times the recommended dose of sleeping pills and read a book until I get sleepy. I'm currently working my way through the Goblin Slayer light Novels. Once my eyelids start getting heavy, I usually say my prayers and quietly wish that my heart will give out while I'm sleeping to relieve myself and others of the burden of my existence before drifting off to sleep. Sometimes, I have dreams that there is a place where I fit in and belong. Other times, I dream that I am well adjusted and have a group of friends that like me and respect my opinion. There are even occasionally dreams where someone has a romantic interest in me. Of course, the relief these escapes provide me are temporary, and it isn't long before I wake up on my prison mattress and have to begin my routine again.