>>33383692
Software Dev and I'm a fresh grad. Its so doomed. Every junior position asks for like 2+ yrs experience with basically senior level knowledge. Saw a chart the other day avg number of applicants for a vacancy in this sector is 205

Everytime i talk to a woman my mind becomes attached like a literal fucking leech. All i can think about is her and want to talk to her. Its like i have this instant crush on her thats super intense and it takes like days of mental gymnastics for it to go away and for me to feel normal again. I'm never sexual or anything weird. And its happened so many times before i feel like it makes me have this weird distance to women.

For example few months ago I talked to this woman online who was into some of my hobbies snd just seemed pretty cool in general. We messaged each other daily for like 2 weeks. I didn't say anything creepy weird or sexual. We just talked about gunpla and her obsession with miku and learning to be a tattoo artist. My brain vividly remembers facts about her and shes a literal nobody in my life didn't even know what she looked like . Then she just ghosted me then blocked me and I actually felt devastated and she still pops into my head time to time.

And it happened other times too with female friend i have now when i first got to know her or woman at uni who was part of my group project.

Whats wrong with me? Am I just this starved for attention or affection? Or is it my anxiety making it so bad?