I'm very concerned about my relationships with the opposite gender. I feel like I'm being too pushy and open-minded, and as a result, I'm either forgotten or always chosen over someone else. Despite this, I genuinely like the person, and I'm willing to go to great lengths. However, whenever I show any form of attention or flirt, I feel incredibly dirty and fear what others might think of me, even though it's probably normal.

And recently I met a man, at the beginning everything was good, even too much. It was like everything started to work out, but I ruined everything again. Now he is cold to me, and I can't stop acting stupidly, and make any sacrifices, because I can't lose him. Maybe he's cold because of my age, but he didn't seem to mind at first. I wrote him about how I feel, how much he affects me, that I can't even sleep, thinking about him. I don't want anyone to think I'm a promiscuous girl, but I also don't want to feel guilty about expressing these feelings.

I really have a hard time with this addiction, what should I do?