used to post here often in 2023 and 2024 and one of the difficulties I was facing aside from getting kicked out, suicidal ideation etc was that I was close to getting kicked out of uni if I failed another class, I was on academic probation.

I passed my last class! I got a 78, so not quite first class honours, but for an honours level class on European philosophy (Husserl is a dense mf whom I kinda adore now), and completing it in 3 days, I can't complain. I can graduate mid year but I'll defer til end of year so that I can get my name/ID changed (expensive process) and have that on my degree.

I have more failed classes than I'd like, but for the classes I actually got grades for I have a 2nd class honours div a average, so will try to pursue academia just a little further I think.

I remember when I started the degree, I was alone supporting my brother financially and was my sister's carer, especially when she was on meth. I haven't seen them in 2 years now, my life is very different now. it's been a massive struggle restarting from scratch, and I recently had a 2 week crash out from the immense trauma of it all, it sucks, it's been unfair and difficult more so than most of my peers, and I've been robbed of so many good years of my life. that loss and sacrifice is hard to reconcile. but I'm doing better now. all that work I put is paying off, I have new friends, I have wild hookups, started a new job, actually been able to start a small surgery savings fund.
the trauma and pain will never go away. what happened to me was immensely fucked up, but I have joys now too. and it makes all the difference.