im kind of amazed this life happened to me
i dont remember what happened before i was gay and trans
i wonder if i changed but i really dont know.
it feels like being a boy was a past life and im like a new person now
when i was going through puberty, i said i was uninterested in sex because i didnt want to be pestered about girls but i was gay
my boyfriend wanted me to be feminine. he got upset because i wasnt enough of a girl
i softened my voice and my body for him
i thought he wanted me to be a girl so i took hormones
but he didnt like that and i did
i tortured him by taking away someone he loved
he said stop doing this youre becoming someone that you arent
you're a boy you wont be a girl
i wanted to make him happy but i was always vain
it was about me
he treated me like shit and i stopped loving him after years of being screamed at and mistreated
i dont know where i was running but now im here where im a trans woman with more time ahead of me than behind
and childhood is worse to remember
nobody wanted me to be a boy
nobody wanted me to be a girl
nobody wanted me
was i ever delicate or did i want to be that way
was i ever feminine or did i want to be that way
who even was i
its all gone now and im somebody else
oh well