This past week my GF of 8 yrs broke up with me, but we got back together after 3 days. During that time she revealed she had lunch with her ex BF in 2018 behind my back after I told her she couldn't see or contact him again after she had met up with him previously without telling me. She said she did it because she wanted to make things right and felt guilty about how she treated him during and after their relationship. For context they had been broken up for a year but were still living together when we started dating, but in her ex's mind he thought they were on a break. Long story short she felt she treated him like shit during their relationship and did him wrong when she got with me and wanted to relieve her guilt.

I told her she was still wrong for doing it, regardless of her reason, because she had agreed not to see him again. She said that she would have told me about but knew it would threaten our relationship. She insisted that nothing happened between them and that it was the only secret she kept from me. She assured me that she’s been honest about everything else and had nothing else to hide and from now on she promised to be fully open with me, even if it risks our relationship.

I asked her how she'd feel if I did the same things behind her back and kept secrets from her for years. She said it wouldn't bother her and that what mattered to her was that I made her happy and provided what she needed for a relationship. She told me that whatever I did when she wasn’t around didn't concern her, as long as I didn’t let it affect our relationship. She said I could see my exes, sleep with other women and even have a side girlfriend, and it wouldn’t matter to her so long as I kept my responsibilities, made her happy, and didn't let it impact us. She explained that she grew up in a culture and household where women didn't question what their man did when they weren't around, as long as he provided for them and preserved the family. (1/2)