I'm not homophobic, and I don't think my sexuality is wrong, but I no longer want to be gay. It just adds an unnecessary layer of stress to my life that I don't need, and it forces me to participate in a culture that I'm too autistic to truly understand.
I've tried to meme myself into liking women with Pavlovian-type conditioning (masturbating to pictures of vaginas to associate arousal with vaginas) but it hasn't worked - I find vaginas disgusting and female secondary sex characteristics to be boring. I've also tried religion, but I find it really hard to force myself to believe in something that I simply don't.
I don't want to be celibate for life, but I also don't want to be gay. Is there anything I can do?