i would really like to tell the fuckheads in my city that their lives are worthless, that they are not even nobodies, they're a level below that, and their existences could be replicated in one fuck. do you have any idea how many fucks it would take to replicate someone like me? maybe in a million years it would happen, but no sooner. i am so far advanced compared to everyone around me, i have no use at all for these morons, they need to stop using my resources and just kill each other already.

how am i supposed to move forward in life or function normally at all when i'm hypomanic as a mutherfucker and talk to myself constantly? i'm sure random people who observed my behavior would think i'm fucking crazy and that i belong in the psych ward, but for me it's just normal. paradoxically, i have zero creativity and zero motivation to make money, although i do need money very badly. the only reason i'm not homeless and starving to death right now is because of my mom, she makes a lot of money at her job and bought a fucking HOUSE for me to live in. not an apartment, a full blown house. it's a very, very nice place, and i love it here. but i am still fundamentally unhappy and ashamed of myself every day. other people i used to talk to are moving on with their lives, like this one girl got engaged to some guy, another girl teaches english in south korea, this guy went into the military, got out, and is now doing well for himself....and I'm just....here. no purpose, no direction, no money, no sex, no friends, nothing. not even a pet, although i do want to get a snake.