>Get sent to T*ba Landing
>Fuck, lets get this shit over with
>Blitz five hooks before a single gen pops, absolute devastation
>They are noticeably inexperienced at looping, suspect it's FNAF newfriends
>One survivor ragequits
>Feel sorry for the three remaining guys
>I find the bot and tunnel it out
>Let the rest do gens in peace
>Run laps around the map with Frenzy active to spook them a little but not touch anyone, nod at them as I pass
>At the end with 1 gen left I go to exit gate
>Open exit the moment last gen pops
>Go to the spaceship in the middle of the map so my terror radius near an exit won't waste any more time if these guys really are noobs
>Go refill my cup of water
>Return from kitchen
>Why hasn't the match ended yet?
>Mfw all three of them at exit gate teabagging, spinning around, and doing "come here" gestures at nobody
I think BHVR does this on purpose. Every time I suspect newfriends and show mercy it's massive taunting faggots. But during times I decide to harden my heart, in the postgame I find that I was killing baby survivors that got screwed by the dogshit MMR system. They must have some way to detect my blood pressure and endocrine levels to determine if I'm feeling merciful or heartless at any given moment to match me with the "right" lobbies for this to happen so regularly. It's like how when you get tired of facing SWF bullysquads and equip Lightborn, it guarantees you match against solos all carrying medkits. I can't prove it but this sort of thing happens so consistently it no longer passes the sniff test and enters rigged bullshit territory.

Of course, their current system of fucking with us is yet imperfect. Extremely rarely, I'll play nice and in the postgame I find out that it really was newfriends. With all that FNAF money, I think Behaviour will begin looking into direct mind manipulation via satellite-mounted thought beams. Then they can finally hit their goal of ensuring we get dogshit mismatches 100% of the time.