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6/24/2025, 4:29:06 AM
>>713486548
Your delivery is stilted, and your descriptions are too verbose with lacking visuals.
"I had played and finished the game's sequal the darkness 2, wheras that game is on steam while The Darkness 1 was made by a different studio entirely, and how it's tone, and style was changed to be more cartoony than the first game. I had a decent time with the sequal but after a long time I got the opportunity to get the original The Darkness for the xbox 360. Then basically"
"I first played The Darkness 2. A cartoony sequal made by another studio. The original has a much different tone..." leading into the goodfellas line, but don't rehash it twice giving multiple descriptions of him following with the punk rocker joke. Write a script, and cut 70% of it. Instead of describing the arm movements zoom into it, and take advantage of the visual medium.
Your delivery is stilted, and your descriptions are too verbose with lacking visuals.
"I had played and finished the game's sequal the darkness 2, wheras that game is on steam while The Darkness 1 was made by a different studio entirely, and how it's tone, and style was changed to be more cartoony than the first game. I had a decent time with the sequal but after a long time I got the opportunity to get the original The Darkness for the xbox 360. Then basically"
"I first played The Darkness 2. A cartoony sequal made by another studio. The original has a much different tone..." leading into the goodfellas line, but don't rehash it twice giving multiple descriptions of him following with the punk rocker joke. Write a script, and cut 70% of it. Instead of describing the arm movements zoom into it, and take advantage of the visual medium.
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