I used to be a hardcore gooner, was probably at its worst during Covid close to 4 times a day everyday. After Covid I actively worked to bring this down, got it down to once every 1-2 weeks but I was never fully able to break the cycle. Everytime I would masturbate I would spiral into almost a week long depression.

https://youtu.be/WgSFdGCVvdw?si=d5l6ElMrRSEfAt2w

I recently came across above video in my YouTube recommendations. Felt like a gut punch. I realized everytime I had a genuine connection with someone I wouldn’t jerk off at all, and the moment they left I’d cave back in. I had fallen into every dudebro manosphere talking point of work until you drop and just fuck sluts for bragging rights. Started waking up at 5:30am to work out every morning and focused on solidifying my career, cut out drinking and smoking. All great changes don’t get me wrong but my one vice of masturbation remained until I accepted the emotional craving I had suppressed out of fear of looking weak among other guy’s judgment. Can’t help thinking about all the girls who I could have found happiness with that I ignored out of some social pressure or no immediate path to sex.

Finally identifying this soft desire of mine after years of seeking more masculine methods is what it took to finally break my final vice of masturbation. I don’t know when I watched this video, maybe a month or so ago but I haven’t jerked off since. I haven’t counted the days I’ve refrained and haven’t felt the need to. Yea porn addiction runs deep and a few times I found myself looking up a specific scene but rather than a feeling of lust I was always met with a feeling of guilt and I would turn it off when I realized what I was doing.

I only share this to help those who are like me, counting the days and finding themselves in a 2 week or so cycle. That maybe rather than seeking external changes to limit masturbation you should look inward, worth a shot at least.