>>40117116
>>40118700
>What is that exactly?
>How would you explain it?
You might want to read >>40130988 regarding self blame first for context, but as for what I mean by self conditioning.. an old prof of mine once said: Arguments are not won through logical reasoning, but through exhaustion. And in many cases, that rings depressingly true. But the point I am making is adjacent: minds are more commonly changed by exhausting their mental defenses against change than they are by arguments. Repetition ad nauseam is more effective than rationalization in emotional matters. If it feels like your fault (a common maladaptive response to the random cruelty of life or people), then forcibly challenging the thought, presenting the contraposition as matter of fact, doesn't land the first dozen times. But if you are forced to engage with it over and over eventually your mind gives into entertaining it. Bullying can destroy self worth by repeatedly asserting worthlessness until that is internalized. Confidence building can (and does) try to rationally engage with meaningful points, but it ALSO asserts. Repeatedly. Until internalized.
>I have a bad habit of confusing positive thinking with being unrealistic or lazy.
>it's a weird impulse in my thoughts.
A habit that must be broken, again, self deception can work. For example, positive thinking improves productivity! High expectations improve performance! Look up Pygmalion effect for evidence of that. "Knowing" this is not feeling though, so trying to kneejerk counter the thought like this is training your self worth muscles!
>Is a mantra or positive affirmations the only way
It is the only one I know at least. A therapist may have sharper tools in his box than I do.