I find it funny that it's only when I find this thread that I finally understand what being depressed is like, and these posts >>81890461 >>81891033 >>81891237 >>81891282 >>81892475 felt somehow so relatable, as in, they perfectly described with words my current situation

i've been feeling like this for maybe 16 years in a row, and I thought I could just push it away and ignore it, that I was strong and stoic for controlling my emotions (I still felt them but decided to not act on them), but it's finally come back in full force
it's made worse by the fact that I see everyone around me live fulfilling lives and having hope and plans for the future, while I'm here jobless, stuck in a life in which I find no meaning, no will to go forward, no memory of ever feeling happy or enjoying life.

also, I don't believe it's something therapy could fix, talking it out and feeling better is usually a female thing (no offense fellow fembots), talking about your problems and actually solving them and different things