I lost every fight in my entire life
Not counting high school, here are the fights i had when i was in the army (mandatory service):
fight number one, i refuse to wash some dude's dirty laundry, he pushes me across bunk beds, climbs on top of me and starts punching my head, i can't do shit about it
fight number two, (probably) mentally retarded kid takes me down on the ground then pins me down face to the ground, i had to submit
fight number three, a fucking nigger disrespects me, punch him right in his retarded fucking face, he takes me down on the ground, a group of guys around us break the fight before it even began

that's kinda it