"Real love should be easy"?

>Coming from someone who never should have responded as if there is any potential in an abusive dynamic---if any for future healing or remission/management of the abuser, at least not for a future together after abuse has transpired. And who, despite this acceptance in hindsight, was still willing to have hard conversations for the sake of nurturing intimacy with a brick wall with the emotional regulation skills of a Thwomp.
Correct. Valid. This phrase is for you, and your personal meaning found in it is nuanced.

>Coming from someone who shits the bed when held accountable but is being asked to take accountability because they already shat the bed in the first place.
Neither suffering nor softness can hone you into something fit for love.