Dear Anna,

It's been many years now. I wish we could still talk.

I think about you a lot lately. I dream about you.

It feel surreal how much time went by since I last got to speak to you.

Do you even use this place anymore?

Skype is dead but you know where you can find me.

I love you.

J

Seeing people exist in dreams are for perceptions that aren't real people anymore.

I had a dream the other day that I said goodbye to my ex's parents and told them I loved them. What did you mean by this, brain

They are monsters. I frequently wish that they were not part of my life at all.

>>82066151
>They are monsters.

Who?

Miss you Matthew

Dear Adrijus, undsleep Niichan nomandiables AzeruD
I love you. I just wish my love could change your shitty behaviors. I hope you get your shit together and stop being a creep. Imagine inventing a fake gf to trigger a mental breakdown for me. I hope you learn to love before September. I still worry and care about you even if all you have done is hurt me moreso than protect me. I think my heart would be better if you had never slid into my dms on X better to be a femcel than to love and know pain and abuse. I assume you hurt me to get back at your mom somehow and that is why you treat women like shit. Empathy truly is a feminine weakness as I just wanted to help you,I dated you because you begged and told me it would improve your mental health. I wonder how many other autistic girls you have dmed and hurt like me?

bumping the dead letter thread

Juliana,
Cant stop cumming to you and your sister.

>>82068732
>Cant stop cumming to you and your sister.

Relatable desu

I dwell in this moment when I swell up inside of her and I'm too big for her pussy. I'm about to bust and she tries to get off but Ive knotted her and she falls down which shoves my cock deep in her womb and I blast jets of cum directly on her as her mind breaks from the pleasure. She starts crying from how happy I make her and she lays on top of me as we wait for my cock to soften so she can get up again. Then when she does my cock slips out and makes a thud as it hits my thigh and my cum starts flowing out of her as she reaches down scoops and starts eating it and licking her hand.

I don't love you anymore. I don't think I ever did.

We both know how you feel about me.
You dwell there naturally with me.

I'm sorry i can't answer your texts. I do miss you but i have changed so little and refuse to humiliate myself trying to fit in. I will cherish our memories.

That slippery slope to craving acceptance, love, and lust from me, to me, with me.

You want me to hurt you and heal you at the same time. For me to punish you as you cry so I wipe away your tears and you can lose yourself for just a moment in my embrace as I kiss you.

What scares you isn't so much 'losing yourself' but knowing with me you are finally found.
Seen. The mask stripped away. Naked, vulnerable, afraid, shivering.

You crave this moment but hate it at the same time. Duality of emotions surge in you. Thinking of me fucking your brains out. Getting so wet thinking about me slamming you as you orgasm thinking about how much you love me.

>>82065300 (OP)
Dear K,

I'm sorry things didn't work out. I really do want you to be happy. You deserve someone who will make you happy. We had a lot of fun but I don't think we are good for each other. I wish you nothing but the best.

Go ahead. Think about that moment as I take you. As your mind blossoms in orgasm with every pump of my cum.

"I love you I love you I love you"

Our kiss

"I love you Mike. It's always been you. I love you"

>>82065300 (OP)
Dear youknowwho

Let me know and I will let you know too

M

Say it out loud as you dwell in that memory. As you touch yourself to it.

"I love you I love you I love you"

Our kiss

"I love you Mike. It's always been you. I love you"

>>82065300 (OP)
I'm sorry, A.
It's been a few years now. I had forgotten again what happened.
But I guess I should change the places I like to go when I'm happy. Knowing you also saw me again is what hurts the most. It hurts not because of me; I'm not selfish, so that doesn't matter. It hurts because I know I made you remember.
I guess I'm again disrupting your peace and making you hurt. I didn't mean to this time.
I'm sorry.

I am not capable of a relationship but I'd give anything to be desired by one person ever

As I stretch you out. Every part of you shaped to take care and pleasure me, all of me. As I take care and pleasure you, all of you.

As we fuck each other's brains out, take care of each other all day.

Dream good dreams. I love you more. I can't wait

>>82069845
I had the same wish and it was like a monkey's paw curse when I got to experience it.

Spoiler: it fucking falls apart so fucking quickly because the person they desired was just the person they built me up to be in their heads before realizing that I am actually just pathetic and trapped

I'll let you ride that line of angst longer. Leave you in the silence. I know that's where you need to be to feel okay right now.

Just know that Im dwelling in strength and the known. Our truth. I'm happy here. Comfortable. Safe. Loved. Cared for.

"Thank you for being my home, your perfect for me, I'm so lucky, I love you so much, nothing will ever change that."

https://youtu.be/vTGDGneaDdc?si=X0caXJZZKvTf1GoM

Translating your posts
>>82069466
>I don't and never did
>>82069617
>I'm sorry, I actually do but I refuse to try
>>82069717
>I want to but I'm afraid
>>82069754
>So we do want the same with each other. It might be time we both honestly work it out
>>82069826
>I remember what love I had for you and I'm sorry I forgot because of distance and time. Everything got distorted and I'm sorry I left. You know me, the real me and it hurts so much. I'm sorry.

>>82071225
>>82069845
>I fucked up and I hope I'm capable not to continue to do so
>>82069914
>We want the same and I'm afraid that who I know you to be and who you know me to be can not be real because then it would hurt to know I've lost so much time with you. I'm afraid to show my heart and I'm afraid you will hurt me. Please don't. I do love you and am telling the truth. Are you? Please say you are. Please when the time comes show me you are and I'll do the same. Please be real.

What I see as the result through your indirect communication is the fog cleared and I provided you relief and reassurance as you moved 7 steps towards me to us. You are still scared and feel uncertain but only because it is scary to have hope, to have me, us, all you have ever wanted. You perhaps feel guilty, shame and want to either double down on hurtimg me so you can identify with the harm instead of being victim to it shifting away from accountability and turning blame into a a twisted strength as well as preemptively lash out in fear. You know this is online self sabotage but you are trying to balance this and feel I should hurt you, be cruel so you can either use that as reason to discount me and if I don't turn use some logic to discount my kindness forgiveness.

Here's the thing.

You are overcomplicating it. Remember how easy and how good it felt to be in love with me? How it felt to be honest and excited for each other. The lust you craved from all the way I would take you. Shape you and pleasure you. Love and lust together are stronger than any other garbage you try to convince yourself with to escape the trepidation and provide relief.

I promise I will give you the relief, the home, the love, lust, safety you have always wanted.

I have a fear you will lash out now because of what Ive read about avoidants and how they react to being seen. I have hope you recognize how I care and am doing my best to understand and love you through it.

I love you for you and all I want is to accept all of you. But that goes both ways and straining it to force me to draw a line just so you can feel I'm not accepting of you is not being honest with yourself or with me.

Think about us and what you truly want with me. Remember me. I love you Maria. Sleep well. Good night

>>82071341
Oh GOD yes! My panties r all bunched up around my cankles and I have been shoving a black penis into my bumcrack while reading. Hell yeah! Oh shit the nigger came down my back and got some in my hair and my buttcracks filled up with his cum too. I love blackchads cum into my mouth as well.

>>82065300 (OP)
Dear J,

Anna has responded to you in several threads telling you to fuck off. Stop being weird.

- Her boyfriend

The only way you can think of escaping feeling hurt right now is attempting to get me to lash out. If I wrote:

Dear boyfriend,
Get cucked because all Anna does all day is think and make posts about me.

Would that start enough of a narrative for you?

I can see what you're doing, I don't retract my words just as you can't retract your feelings for me.

It is as it is and I know that scares you. You'll just have to deal with that cuz it's not going to change. You know that.

Once again, the last thing you think about when you go to sleep is me and I'm the first thing you think about when you wake up. And that's not even counting all the times you are thinking about me and talking about me during the day.

Good night Maria.

>>82065300 (OP)
Why is everyone so fucking retarded and incompetent? I feel like they're so retarded that there has to be something genius to them because they mystify me, fucking everyone is retarded, and it seems like genuinely the more brain damaged people are the more intelligent they are. Is it because they get away with everything? Is it because theyre testing my intelligence to overcome their brutal retardation? I have a near genius iq and I feel like theres no way these people can be this retarded and fuck me over and outsmart me just from being the most blamelessly retarded fucks on the planet

>>82071439
Gonna need a story time for this.

>>82071772
there isn't one, it's some fag with a cuck fantasy trying to get under OP's skin

>>82071772
Bros obsessing about a girl he met on /r9k/ like seven years ago (who was underage at the time) that was half a world away.
>>82071795
You guys can think I'm shitposting, but OP will know I know enough about the specifics of his situation that I'm telling the truth.

As soon as I get my presents I'm out of this relationship

>>82065300 (OP)
>still hung up on someone from the skype days
yeah me too man, me too :^(

It's not about taking it slow or being too fast when there's trust that we're in the same current that pulls us to the same shore. That's why in the silence, in the still of night when there is not a word but the sound of the waves around us I'm content because I know it's just a matter of time. How long? I Don't know. But every so often I hear your voice and I know it's not much longer. Dream good dreams

>>82065300 (OP)
Hey, K

I was just thinking about you this morning and how great my life would be with you in it. Looking back, breaking up with you was the stupidest thing I ever did

Dear Y.

You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I think about you at least once a day. I still love you.

I know when we were together you did not have any avoidant issues and you were happy with me. Nervous but excited and hopeful.

I want you to think about when it is that you started being unhappy. When all of this avoiding stuff started happening, all the lying, larping, this decievement.

I don't want to come across egotistical, but I know that you would not be like this if we were still together. It would be happy still.

What caused all your problems you are dealing with now? Can whatever caused it be removed from your life?

Do you think there is hope?
Or is that what scares you?

Will you reply to me directly? Honestly? Or should I expect more larps like this

>>82072653

I was going to not say anything, but maybe not saying something is what harms you.

But maybe these are the times I float and know we will reach out shore at the same time. Know that there are things but I don't see from here, that I don't hear from you, that are happening that will bring us there.

By the way. Heres who I really am. I'll just have to trust you actually know me for me and remember how I was with you

I have never done anything sub and don't plan on it. After enough bullshit I've cut it out so you will have to accept me as a dom when we get back together. I'm not going to be any other way.

letter thread bump before i go to bed

J,
I miss you so much. That guy pretending to be my bf is just a troll.
Sincerely,
Anna

Sometimes I still get sidelined by the sheer buffoonery of an abusive avoidant armchair diagnosing their victim as "avoidant" for taking space every time they pulled some "This is why I'm incapable of growth" bs again, and as "abusive" for the times they stayed to call the abusive avoidant on their bullshit with a self-respecting albeit resolution-focused intent, which of course simultaneously frightened and infuriated the abusive avoidant even more than distance.

Annoyed by Abusive Avoidants' Audacity Anonymous

Dear K,

I just want you to admit what you did to me. You fucked me up for life and you've never properly taken responsibility for it.

Everything turned out all sunshine and rainbows for your life, meanwhile I think about killing myself every single day.

"Real love should be easy"?

>Coming from someone who never should have responded as if there is any potential in an abusive dynamic---if any for future healing or remission/management of the abuser, at least not for a future together after abuse has transpired. And who, despite this acceptance in hindsight, was still willing to have hard conversations for the sake of nurturing intimacy with a brick wall with the emotional regulation skills of a Thwomp.
Correct. Valid. This phrase is for you, and your personal meaning found in it is nuanced.

>Coming from someone who shits the bed when held accountable but is being asked to take accountability because they already shat the bed in the first place.
Neither suffering nor softness can hone you into something fit for love.

"Correct. Valid. This phrase is for you, and your personal meaning found in it is nuanced"?

Not when you literally lack the psychological capacity to take an honest inventory of your and others' roles in your interactions. Not when what you consider "abuse" is the first time *you* felt narcissistic mortification because someone verbally affirmed their boundaries and their commitment to their current relationship, and then went on to abuse them and trigger reactive abuse out of them.

Happy Lion's Gate Eve-eve-eve-eve!

Sometimes I look at the pictures of us together from before you did what you did to my family and I just feel so sad. I know that I said I forgave you but I don't. As soon as I get my life together more I'm kicking you out of it. My final revenge will be using you this way.

I still love you the same as before. You still love me. I can tell by your focus on me. Every time I've gone silent you have reached out and made posts everywhere about me. All day every day.

That is not someone who has moved on or loves someone else.

That is someone in pain and unable to manage it because they still feel the empty part in them that I reside in.

Recognize me and remember me for who I truly am. Think of when you looked on my eyes and told me you loved me.

You are not happy now. That is very clear. It may hurt to recognize but it's true. Your actions show that very clearly. I can see it in your eyes the last photos I saw of you. They look dull and the smile is forced. The photos before when you were with me your eyes were alive and your smile genuine.
There are several other things as well.

I am fulfilled in every other way but missing you. That part where you are missing hurts every day, the same as the part of you that is missing me. You know that feeling.

Fictionalizing and shaming my perspective is a defense mechanism and performance used to give you emotional distance from your own vulnerability. I can see you feel guilt, shame, and rage you are dwelling in and desperate to escape.

And the indirect communication posts is something I only recently found out. How many other ways have you sought me to be in your life still. How many times have we talked here without me knowing it's you. What about twitch? Is there more ways I'm not aware of? If so isn't that a pretty big fucking sign you still love me and want me in be in your life and want to be in mine?