this is all normal human concepts that will lead to this, because as a spiritual existence inhabiting this human body, how are we supposed to perceive anything beyond this earthly understanding? These are normal feelings that come when you realize there is much much more then just this 3D existence. The best help i ever got was medicating with DMT after listening and studying terrance mckenna for a few years... Yes, this is a simulation , but its not a simulation in the way us humans can even fathom, much more complicated then computers and fake realities . This all all real, but its like a giant acid trip that we have no control over. One of the biggest flaws in a lot of humans is that we ruin the genuine magic in front of us happening every day with logical explanations as if science and math its self was not something amazing happening that has deeper meanings behind the human constructs these matters. If there is one thing i can leave you with and not with arrogance , its that you are god, i am god, we are all god, dreaming of being US. This is just a graveyard of bones, and we are just ghost experiencing this for some un known reason, but its going to become clear after we die as we are intended to. I do believe that suicide cuts the expierence short, and its much worse if we fail to finish, and finish is again a human concept, who fucking knows when you will be finished? you are not going to be the judge of this, but you can MANIFEST YOUR REALITY, WITH HARD WORK AND MENTAL DISCIPLINE TOWARDS IT. Remember, your god dreaming of being you, so believe in your self, love others as you love your self even the desolate pricks with horrible egos.