>>76357017
Okay? And what?
Why are you eating too much? why are you drinking? why did you let yourself gain 20 lbs? Why are you telling me all the ways you're actively fucking up like you haven't been completely cognizant of your actions for the last 189 days? What's different today? Or tomorrow, or next Monday, whenever you're telling yourself you are going to start again. This isn't some epiphany like you just realized what you're doing, you've had 189 opportunities to do the right thing and you haven't taken a single one.
Fix yourself.